August 2010
I am in a little pain from exercising for a little to long without eating enough, but, the pain should be gone by tomorrow morning, and hopefully, i lost the tiniest bit of weight :3
Day Ten: One confession.
I really like, possibly love someone, someone who is amazing, and special, but i ruined everything. Now, i’m just looking for someone, anyone, to replace that person, even if it takes more than one person. I know it’s wrong, but it’s easier than being alone and it also takes my mind off that one person for a little while.
When my dad and i had a fight last week, he decided that i don’t deserve to go to soundwave. I told him he was being unfair, and that i deserve to go because of the improvements i have made this year like, i don’t drink anywhere near as much as i used to, i don’t smoke anymore, my grades have improved heaps, i don’t just disappear for a week, i ask for permission to go out,...
When someone likes me:
coolgreenapple:manohhmuffin:lexingtonx:sabrinaalads:yoursweetvoice:sodanabanana:darlynasdfghjkl:elleno:beatherese:supersuze:rachelemery:mollyphaaam:traangbuui:itslealove:
I automatically think
this must be a joke
maybe they were dared
they are desperate and i am the last resort
WHY?
lol they’re just kidding
is this real life
their intentions aren’t good
they’re using me
...
smoking-confetti-deactivated201 asked: <3 LOVE FOR YOU
"FUCK YOU" "Woah, dont threaten me with a good...
toomuchforoneheart:lezbefrands:(via -insertxcatchyxtitlexhere-)
I made a friend a promise, and on the weekend i broke it. Her last bestfriend broke a similar promise, and it ended their friendship. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and her reaction to what i did. It gave me a disgusting feeling in my stomach. When i was walking up to her yesterday morning to try and explain myself, my heart sank, because i thought it would end our friendship. After i...
@pumpkinlantern
It can’t always be special, i’v had people tell me that they regret sleeping with certain people because it just wasn’t special for them :T
@hackneylanes
But what if they’re just a friend, and you’re both looking for the same thing, would you still develop feelings towards that person, or would your relationship with that person be the same, or better than it was before the sex, or would it ruin everything ?
When my friends talk about sex, they normally mention how special it should be, and how you should only do it with someone you’re inlove with. It makes me really frustrated. Not because i think it’s stupid, but because i don’t see it that way, and i feel that i should :/
Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want...
smooshykay:safeinsilence:(via dearsammiee, tiffanytranxo)
Today, i feel kind of pretty. I looked in the mirror when i was getting ready, and i didn’t notice my flaws, i noticed things about myself that i actually like.
@hackneylanes
I am disapointed in myself too :/ I had gone 7 months without being fully drunk, with the exception of the relay. I had done so well, i tried so hard to make an improvement from last year, but i am glad that i was drinking with closer friends instead of people i hardly know.
@notransistory
I would love to but i don’t think we’re from the same country XD
You should post the pictures for sure :P
There aren’t any pictures of me that i’m aware of, but there are videos on my friends mom’s phone, i’m sure she will be pleased when she discovers them >.<
I have decided that maybe i should stop drinking, all together.
On Saturday night, after a gig, i went to a friends place. There was goon, and i got trashed. Apparently i spent half of the night walking around topless in front of the guys, and an hour or so throwing up in a bucket :/ My friend actually had to put my shirt back on for me, i was that fucked i could hardly move. I am disgusting.
So i can now stay at my nana’s, but i’m not allowed to leave her house, at all, and my dad wont give me any money, which is pretty stupid, because now i can’t pay for my train ticket to get there. Seriously, he is a fucking douche.
I wonder if he realises that Jordan and i hate him, and the only reason why my older brother still talks to him is so he can get money. The only...
I hope that the people going to see Bullet For My Valentine aren’t going for Bring Me The Horizon, because apparently Oli can’t scream properly anymore and they sound shit live..
Now that would be a waste of money.
@liyzaah
liyzaah:whendaybecomesnight:
I’v kind of grown up with it so it’s nothing new. I don’t really talk to my mom, we never got along and i haven’t seen her in years :T
Oh I’m sorry to hear that :( Well, even if it is the “norm” for you, you still shouldnt have to go through it. Its abuse, and its wrong. I copped a lot of shit for years before I was strong enough to let go and stand up for...
@liyzaah
I could stay with family or friends, but i don’t feel comfortable doing that, so i was planning on renting my own place. I know it would be difficult because of my age, and not many people would want to rent their house to a 15 year old, but i will find a way to make everything work out :3
@liyzaah
I’v kind of grown up with it so it’s nothing new. I don’t really talk to my mom, we never got along and i haven’t seen her in years :T
@liyzaah
liyzaah:whendaybecomesnight:
He sometimes hits me, but it doesn’t bother me that much. I’d rather be hit than have him spend a night telling me how much he hates me and how shit i am. He is just a dick, i’v seen my brother try and explain that his friends are like family to him, and he just says that they’re not a relative so they’re not family.
I was 13 when I left…My dad never hit me, but...
@liyzaah
He sometimes hits me, but it doesn’t bother me that much. I’d rather be hit than have him spend a night telling me how much he hates me and how shit i am. He is just a dick, i’v seen my brother try and explain that his friends are like family to him, and he just says that they’re not a relative so they’re not family.
@liyzaah
How did you get away from it and at what age ?
I’m not sure that anyone can help really, but thank you XD <3
@sexandsuicide
But, she has already paid, and everytime i say “She isn’t family.” he gets shitty and says things like “Well neither are your friends and you put them before me.” and i’d rather not spend time with my family anyway. If i go, that means i will have to sit by myself, all weekend. There is no reception or internet. I hate my dads friends children, and i don’t...
@sexandsuicide
My dad is just being a dick, like, my family is supposed to be going away this weekend, with my dads friends families too, and my dad is bringing his girlfriend, so i told him i don’t want to go. I was going to sleep at my nana’s one night, and stay at a friends on the Saturday, earlier in the week, dad said yes to these plans, but now he is saying i’m being a...
I would like to beat the shit out of my dad right...
I HATE living here.
